It is not this or that. It is actually something else.


Hi! Alicia here.

I was texting with a girlfriend today about how fast the summer already seems to be passing. And the reality is that, at least in the world of astrologers, summer has not even begun. Thursday marks its beginning (hello, summer solstice). But many of us (me included) mark a different beginning to summer. (Ahem…parents who have already adjusted to a schedule without school).

For me, summer begins on the last day of Spring quarter at Stanford’s Business School. Part of the work I bring into the world happens at Stanford. I facilitate a popular elective (coined "touchy feely" by students). Summer for me arrived the evening of June 4th on the drive home from Stanford’s campus, music blaring and windows down.

I was energized by the type of work I do at Stanford the moment I discovered it. The goal of the course is to build interpersonal relationships by understanding the impact of your behavior on others. The information you learn gives you opportunities to bridge the distance between the intent of your words and actions and the impact it actually has on others.

One of the big things I took away from my initial introduction to the course was the impact of limiting ideas to two things. 

          Do you feel x or y?

          Do you mean a or b?

          Do you prefer this or that?

          Do you care more about option one or option two?

I found myself on the receiving end of a two option question presented to me by another course attendee. It felt impossible to classify an array of experience and feelings into just two optionsNothing fit what was true for me. 

I have since realized that we do this to ourselves in thinking about our future ALL OF THE TIME.

          This job or another job.

          This career or another career.

          This house or another house.

          This partner or that partner

We take a current circumstance of our lives and compare it to only one other option. Even worse, most of the time the second option is an esoteric idea. It is out there but it’s not super exciting.

The end result? We settle for “good enough.” 

Part of our work at Inside Out is holding women to the idea that anything is possible. Really. Anything. The stuff we’ve seen women pull off has knocked our socks off.  We want you to knock your own socks off! To do that, you’ve got to carve out the time and space to dream. To invite your soul’s biggest dreams to the conversation with yourself. When you do, you’ll open yourself up to all kinds of possibilities.  

This job or another job transforms into...

My current job
          good enough


A job that looks a lot like my job but at a different company
          a small change, but still good enough


A different role at my same company under a manager I respect
          satisfies your two big values of respect and learning


A job at a small company that requires an all hands on deck approach to scaling
          a type of work that gives you a lot of energy


No job at all but rather a big loan to support a creation you want to bring in the world
          a big left turn with a lifestyle change that makes you feel alive

The possibilities that arise when you sit with your dreams start to hold meaning for you. They become resonant and draw you forward. Gina’s use of values to support decisions can also be used to create possibilities.

When you do have more than two possibilities, use our simple guide to help you discover your decision making power. 

Shine On, 
Alicia & Gina

Alicia Jabbar