Sorry Not Sorry: Why Women Don’t Need to Apologize for Being Angry


Hi! Gina here.

I opened my Twitter feed this morning to see images of women and allies gathered on the steps of the Supreme Court and elsewhere across the country in solidarity with #MeToo and #BelieveSurvivors - two revolutionary movements powered by women.  As I follow the events of the day (and really the events of the last two years), I find myself equal parts inspired and ...angry.  I’m noticing that I have a tricky relationship with anger.  The wisest part of me understands that carrying around anger isn’t always healthy; that underneath rage, there is fear, and often pain that wants to be healed.  I still believe this is true AND I’ve caught myself in an old belief that anger is not productive.  That actions that arise from anger are, in fact, destructive.  I think this is a lie.  As I shared with some of you, when I saw Serena’s rage on the court two weeks ago I felt overwhelmingly proud and fired up over her raw, unapologetic display of anger for being unfairly treated.  So, the question I’ve been considering lately is “in what ways is my anger actually a force for good?”  There’s passion in anger, insight into values, and a kind of fearlessness to jump into immediate action. When we feel rage, it’s actually a red, hot, full body clue into what is most important to us.  The truth is, there is wisdom behind all of our feelings, even the so-called “unattractive” ones.  I’m learning not to judge myself for feeling angry - and these days, with the political climate, I feel it often.  Rage is powerful.  Sure, when followed blindly, 100% of the time, it may not be so useful.  But if we can honor it, hold it without squashing it, or judging it, or making it wrong, there’s so much we can learn and use - for good. 

Shine On, 

Gina Restani